The tongue will speak fourth what is in the heart.
I believe that The Bible speaks of Truth – The Truth. Yet I feel resentment and uneasily feelings rushing through my veins as I am reading Scripture. Rebellion, a voice that seeks to destroy and fracture. The sin that lives in me. My own self-righteousness, ego, corrupted mind, my own lies, lust and desires.
My own thoughts are not where I wish for them to be, is wishing a wrongdoing in itself? How can I trust anything I am thinking? My own emotions – trying to fool me, trying to stay satisfied, self delusional lies.
I try to give up my old life, my old wretched deeds and way of life. My outwards appearance before Men, most importantly the inner life of my being.
The War that has ravaged for aeons. O Lord, I pray – be my soul merciful, I know what I am.
You came down to us – to save lost sinners. I pray to you dear Jesus, help me, give me a heart of flesh and take out this heart of stone. Wrap me in your garments of light, renew my spirit.
I am not sure where my road will take me or ends. So many things, you know what I have done. I am weak. I tell myself, “This will be the last time” well knowing I will fall again and again.
Teach me about life my Lord. My vision is dim from the clouds of darkness that surrounds. I need you. More than anything, I need you. Forgive me.
Thank you for everything. Thank you for your grace and your mercy upon me. Thank you for your love and forgiveness Lord. Teach us your way. Help us to see the world and ourselves the way it is. May your Holy Spirit guide and reveal the Truth in our hearts – as we journey through life in faith and hope that one day we shall return to our Home in your loving arms our Father.